Wednesday, December 07, 2005

P & P

I went and saw Pride and Prejudice last night.
After having a conversation with a friend about it, I feel that I have been left in a paradoxical quandary.

He was telling me how much he loves Lizzie Bennet. That he desires a woman who will challenge him, stir his wit and intellect. But less than 5 minutes later, he was telling me that feminism is the problem with relationships today. That it isn’t possible to find a submissive Christian woman these days. A woman who will not question his authority.

Now I am sure that people will tell me that the two can go together. But I don’t really see how. How can you have an Eliza Bennet who is also a Charlotte Lucas?

One minute we girls hear from men, that they want us to be spirited, have our own life, and be independent, then the next we are told that they want a submissive and quiet woman, the way that the Scriptures describe.
Arrrgghhhh – and men say that women are hard to understand!

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

did you push mr. x on the issue?

hmm, it is interesting. i feel like it is something worth discussing sometime....

i almost feel like stealing your entry and posting it for discussion on my own blog!

-seumas

Anonymous said...

I couldn't help write a response and some thoughts

-bw said...

Excellent. I am wading my way through your post now now!

Unfortunately he ran away before I got a chance to push him on the issue.

Anonymous said...

I came hear on Seumas' recommendation. A good question.

Frankly, I think that it's guys selfishly wanting to have their cake and eat it too.

(I, by the way, am a guy.)

Similarly, I have heard guys complain one moment that girls are not logical enough and then the next moment complain that others are too career-minded. Well, to learn logic, most people do tend to need education which tends to set people on a career track....

For what it's worth, I think the passage from Peter speaks of a gentle and quiet spirit, not necessarily a quiet personality.

And interestingly, the Proverbs 31 woman was quite industrial and almost modern.

As for me, I like a balanced woman. If she is too emotional, or rather too trusting of her emotions at the expense of reason, this tends to lead to sin (on both our parts) and annoyance (on both are parts). But God created women to be emotionally-sophisticated, and I think He did it for a reason, and I like that. I want my girl to be a girl -- feminine and beautiful and emotional -- all the while being reasonable and intellectual. I want a balance. (Now not all men want intellectual. Fine, then do such girls a service and grab them before they go to college, or else stop complaining that every girl is too modern. What? Do you expect them to wait around for you while you go get educated?) I realize that this balance likely means I'll need an educated woman. What then remained to be seen was whether this hypothetical woman took her education to the extreem and abandoned Biblical values or whether she remained gentle in spirit. For me, God has blessed me with a very educated, very beautiful, not quiet on the outside but quiet on the inside, very emotional, very reasonable, very feminine, very Christian, etc. girl -- now my fiancée. The romantic thing to say would be that no one else is like her, but I'm sure that there are plenty of other Christian woman like this for the patient man.

-bw said...

hey lhynard,
welcome, and feel free to come again!

I am glad that God has blessed you with what sounds to be a wonderful fiance.
I hope and pray for my friend, that he will be content with where God has placed him. That if God brings a wonderful girl along for him, that he will love her as Christ loved the church. And if God does not have it in his plan for my friend to get married, then I hope and pray that my friend will realise that it is God who knows and loves him better than he knows himself.

Thanks again for coming, and your encouraging words.
:)