Why are single people treated as second class citizens?
I live within 15 minutes of campus. For any married student, this is considered as living within residence. But for me, it is not. (This is just one example of many that I am using to illustrate)
To quote section 5.6 of the handbook (page 72, 2007):
"All single student are expected to reside in College (singles quarters) for the duration of their course."
Later in section 5.6 it says:
"Married students may apply to live in houses on College campuses [...] A minimum of two years residence is normally expected of married students"
Why are there different regulations for married students and single students?
Although I have heard some positive sermons on singleness, church culture does not reflect a positive view.
And how? How is our church culture going to change when our ministers are being trained in an institution that doesn't respect singleness? As people are being trained, there is a subverted message of singleness being taught. No wonder there is an underlying message being taught in church culture - that is, you are not complete until you are married.
Which makes me wonder where this perception has come from. The idea that you are somehow deficient if you are single.
Two thoughts:
- It has arisen out of the Reformation
One of the many positive things that the Reformers did was to endorse the goodness of marriage. Once again, marriage could be seen as a valid choice. You no longer need to live a monastic life in order to serve God as had been previously taught.
Reactionary theology has swung this position to the extreme. No longer is singleness viewed as a positive thing. Our church culture has elevated marriage. So much so that I think it is in danger of becoming idolatrous.
I don't want to elevate singleness above marriage, like in the days before the Reformation. But I also don't think that marriage should be elevated above singleness.
Which brings me to my second thought about why our church culture thinks of singles as deficient.... - SEX
We live in a non-Christian world which says that sex is where it is at. Having sex and being sexy. All part of the world in which we live in.
The non-Christian world doesn't understand sexual celibacy. When everything in their world tells them that life is about having sex, to have someone refrain from sex outside marriage is baffling.
It is baffling because society equates having sex with being an adult. Adults choose when and who to have sex with. If that choice is taken away it is rape - a most heinous crime.
It is all about choice. Once you can choose to have sex you are considered an adult. So, a single, mid-thirties, Christian is viewed as somehow not being as 'adult' as their married friends the same age. It is as though the ability to have sex with someone is what completes you.
Having sex doesn't complete you. Having a marriage partner doesn't complete you or make you superior to someone who is single. It is easy to look and say "I can see why that person is still single" or "I don't understand why that person hasn't been snatched up yet." It is not about what we do. It is not about whether this person is able to find a partner and that person isn't. God is sovereign. If you are married - God is the one who brought your partner into your life. If you are single - God is the one who is in control.
When will we as a church community have a culture that reflects our biblical teaching on the goodness of singleness? When will we as a college community realise that singles are adult in every way and begin treating them that way?
It is Christ who completes you - not sex, nor a marriage partner, nor work, nor children.
Was Jesus deficient because he was single?
(end rant)
