The Nature of Trust

Today marks some thoughts about trust.

Trust is something that is part of a relationship. Not a one-way relationship, but a two-way relationship. It is something that is developed as the relationship grows. It is not bought. Nor bribed.

It means that you are able to rely on the integrity of a person or thing.

How can we trust if trust has been broken? Should we trust if trust has been broken? Or is that plain foolishness?

Graduation - a joful sadness

Tonight was college graduation. It was an occasion that filled me with joy. To see many friends again and hear about their plans.
But it also was a night which has left me sad. I miss many people who have moved far away from Sydney.
Some I may not see for months or even years. Others I will not see until Jesus returns. But thankfully, some I will see each Sunday for the rest of the year!

In many ways I am jealous. It has again churned up those feelings of wanting to have completed my studies.
But I hold fast to the fact that God knows what he is doing. And I take rest in his goodness.

Saturday Morning Ritual

Over the past year and a bit, most Saturday mornings have seen me at the Ould's. It was not a planned habit, but one that is certainly enjoyed.

I love going over for breakfast and coffee. But it is more than coffee or food that brings me back each week.
I love talking theology with Dave, fashion and craft with Jacqui, reading with Charis and playing with Ethan.


Over the past week I have been frustrated with being at college and not able to be in parish more than one day. But today, I came to the realisation that when I leave college, it will also mean a change in many of my relationships. And about that, I will be sad.

So no more feeling frustrated about where I am today, or for the rest of the year - it is about making the most of where God has placed me!!

Week 3

classes (other than chapel tomorrow morning) are over.

I've made a start on my Hebrews exegetical. Project work is going well - I have a file of stuff to read over the weekend and several books on loan.
I even have a lead on where I think I may start for my chick's chapel sermon on faithfulness.
I submitted an Issues in Theology topic.
So things are going along.

I had a slightly more productive day today - had my head in greek texts for 4.5 hours before coming up for a breather and wondered where the time had gone.

Tomorrow I will start reading Always Reforming for that upcoming book review that is due.
Tomorrow I will remember to buy my brother's birthday present.
Tomorrow I will unpack another box.
Tomorrow I will reply to some overdue emails.

struggle with contentment

Many of my posts over the last week have been tinged with my struggle with contentment. I am struggling to be content with being at college.

Don't get me wrong, I have loved being able to come to college, but what with many of my friends graduating next week, I do wish that I was one of them.

I feel the tension of only being in parish one day a week, and wish it were more.

there is still time

to make it into next monday night's graduation service
to finish with a Bth
to take up a job this year
to pull out before the fees apply


--
i ponder these things, but know in all reality that i won't make a decision by the end of the week, so i guess it is another 24 weeks and 4 days to go.

the first of many this year

done
and
done

word count

Essay 1: 1180/1250
Essay 2: 487/750

update

Essay 1: 1180/1250
Essay 2: 0/750

the reading is on the way for essay number 2. Methinks it must be close to sleep time.


--
have you ever wondered why the sky is blue and not orange?
or why clouds are called clouds?

word count

Essay 1: 734/1250
Essay 2: 0/750

(yes, they are both due tomorrow at 4:30pm)

arrggghhh

essays not written
mum to arrive in 45mins
house is a mess

which one is it?

cynicism or realism

am i being cynical or am i simply being realistic about the way things are?



either way, the last few days have seemed a little jaded.

so i put it to googlefight. Here's the results.

Week 2 of 27

Week 2 of the college year draws to a close. I feel little or no inspiration to write the 2 mini essays that are due on Monday. But, I am sure they will be done (at some stage).
The meeting that I was feeling anxious about this morning went well. I was in town a few hours longer than expected as some job possibilities came up and ideas for a topic for my issues in theology paper were discussed.

Current thinking on that topic:
Is forgiveness possible without repentance? ie, a theology of forgiveness
(or something like that)

For church history, I am going to go with the role of evangelical women in first wave feminism. Not really sure where to start with that one.

It feels like snooze time, but I fear that way too much coffee has been consumed for that to happen. Maybe I will head to UB to try and do some work on those essays.

must

find

inspiration

anxiety

I have been reading a fair bit of Alain de Botton today. He has quite a bit to say about happiness and even contentment. I am hoping to get my hands on his book Status Anxiety. The college library doesn't have a copy, so I might head down to Fisher, or even see if my local has it.

--
as I type this post, I note with some amusement, that I am feeling anxious about a meeting I have to go to in the morning.

where does the time go?

Although we have a lighter lecture load this year, I am feeling the pinch of time. Much time has been spent in the library, very few morning teas have been attended and the late nights have begun.
I'm grateful for the time set aside in our program for chapel. Although I struggle with alertness during the mornings, they have been grounding me well over the past 2 weeks.

I fear I am fighting off this cold bug which is going round college.

Week 2 begins

I had my first meeting with BSR re the project. It went well, and I am feeling renewed and encouraged. We talked ideas, goals and methodology. Some tasks have been set to be done in the next 2 weeks, when we meet again.

Meanwhile, NT4 is a great joy to my soul.

Term 1, Week 1

Is over.

I can't decide on an Issues in Theology topic.

Nor can I work out a Church History essay question.
Although one option was to write about the influence of Australian evangelicals on firstwave feminism.

--realisation that summer is over

project update

The list is out. Next to my name it says:

Topic: Towards a Pauline Ethic of Contentment, with special reference to Singleness.

Supervisor: BSR

--
This weekend's task: a word study on contentment/self-sufficiency in the Pauline Epistles.

effectual disparity

Why are single people treated as second class citizens?

I live within 15 minutes of campus. For any married student, this is considered as living within residence. But for me, it is not. (This is just one example of many that I am using to illustrate)

To quote section 5.6 of the handbook (page 72, 2007):
"All single student are expected to reside in College (singles quarters) for the duration of their course."

Later in section 5.6 it says:
"Married students may apply to live in houses on College campuses [...] A minimum of two years residence is normally expected of married students"


Why are there different regulations for married students and single students?

Although I have heard some positive sermons on singleness, church culture does not reflect a positive view.

And how? How is our church culture going to change when our ministers are being trained in an institution that doesn't respect singleness? As people are being trained, there is a subverted message of singleness being taught. No wonder there is an underlying message being taught in church culture - that is, you are not complete until you are married.

Which makes me wonder where this perception has come from. The idea that you are somehow deficient if you are single.

Two thoughts:

1. It has arisen out of the Reformation
   One of the many positive things that the Reformers did was to endorse the goodness of marriage. Once again, marriage could be seen as a valid choice. You no longer need to live a monastic life in order to serve God as had been previously taught.
   Reactionary theology has swung this position to the extreme. No longer is singleness viewed as a positive thing. Our church culture has elevated marriage. So much so that I think it is in danger of becoming idolatrous.
   I don't want to elevate singleness above marriage, like in the days before the Reformation. But I also don't think that marriage should be elevated above singleness.
   Which brings me to my second thought about why our church culture thinks of singles as deficient....
   
   
   
2. SEX
   We live in a non-Christian world which says that sex is where it is at. Having sex and being sexy. All part of the world in which we live in.
   The non-Christian world doesn't understand sexual celibacy. When everything in their world tells them that life is about having sex, to have someone refrain from sex outside marriage is baffling.
   It is baffling because society equates having sex with being an adult. Adults choose when and who to have sex with. If that choice is taken away it is rape - a most heinous crime.
   
   It is all about choice. Once you can choose to have sex you are considered an adult. So, a single, mid-thirties, Christian is viewed as somehow not being as 'adult' as their married friends the same age. It is as though the ability to have sex with someone is what completes you.
   
   

Having sex doesn't complete you. Having a marriage partner doesn't complete you or make you superior to someone who is single. It is easy to look and say "I can see why that person is still single" or "I don't understand why that person hasn't been snatched up yet." It is not about what we do. It is not about whether this person is able to find a partner and that person isn't. God is sovereign. If you are married - God is the one who brought your partner into your life. If you are single - God is the one who is in control.

When will we as a church community have a culture that reflects our biblical teaching on the goodness of singleness? When will we as a college community realise that singles are adult in every way and begin treating them that way?

It is Christ who completes you - not sex, nor a marriage partner, nor work, nor children.

Was Jesus deficient because he was single?


(end rant)

project thoughts

1. Towards an ethic of contentment with specific application to singleness.

2. Towards a Pauline Ethic of Contentment with special reference to singleness.