It is what i must keep reminding myself.
Today we got our long awaited doctrine 3 essays back. They were our first essay to be returned this year. I cannot help but be dissapointed with my mark. I spend much time researching, but it seems that my skills are not up to scratch.
In first year, I was happy with C's. So why am I upset with this mark? I suppose that it is because my marks went up last year. I suppose that when my marks went up, I saw that I was capable of more than C's. I suppose it is because I put a many hours into the essay. I suppose it is because I felt that I grappled with the topic well. I suppose it could be that external factors have pulled me away from my studies in a way that I am frustrated about. I suppose many things.
It is not a marks-pride thing. It is more that I am putting pressure on myself so that I can keep my grade point average up so that I can do my project next year. My mark today has done nothing to help that.
I must remember, C is satisfactory.
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All assessments are artificial, especially written summaries of ideas as essays. The only attitude to have is 'crush, kill, destroy!' They are simply the hurdles in the hurdles event. You do the best job possible and then leave it. The only essential is to pass. There is no real reason, apart from passing, why your style of thinking should be compulsorily aligned with another's. If your style of learning is different from another's, then be aware and then move on. Essays suit the linear, logical, left brain people with high verbal ability. I propose the mediaeval defense of a topic in front of the student body instead. Would you prefer that?
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