One of the subjects that we get to study in 4th year is called Issues in Theology. And as the name would suggest, we discuss issues in theology. Last Friday it was my turn (hence the radio silence).
I looked at the nature of forgiveness and repentance in human relationships. (in other words, do we have to forgive someone if they don't repent?) While I am told that it is quite a common topic to look at, that is precisely why I wanted to look at it, as it seems there isn't a great deal of consensus when coming to an answer.
So do we? Is there forgiveness without repentance in our human relationships?
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My impression is that most agree that (a) there no reconciliation without repentance and (b) it is important to not allow oneself to become poisoned with bitterness, yet the real debate is about the definition of forgiveness: is it something that happens in my heart, or is it something that happens in a relationship?
Hey B!
Would love to chat to you about this ... or read your paper ... or both! :)
It's something that has come up in discussion with others recently.
T
that's right Byron. I personally think that forgiveness is relational - or else it is in danger of being an inward looking philosophy.
Trinny - it was great chatting with you about this the other night. Hope it was helpful....
I once forgave someone for something really big. The person wasn't repentant, but I had to forgive the person for their sake and my own. I didn't think they were ever going to realise what they'd done. Years later, that person apologised because they had finally realised what they had done. It was nice, but not cathartic because I had genuinely forgiven them ages before. So there was forgiveness without repentance, and then years later, reconciliation. I am only describing my experience. But in some ways I think "Do we have to forgive someone if they don't repent?" is not the right question. That feels the same to me as asking, "Do we have to exercise even if we eat well?" No, we don't. But it's good for us if we do. And if we don't, there may be negative effects down the track.
However, I am talking completely off the top of my head and from personal experience.
In fact, now that I think about it, this has happened twice in my life. I have forgiven my dad for leaving. I'm pretty sure he's not repentant. And there's been reconciliation too. Go figure.
Hi Em,
Yes,the question: Do we have to forgive someone if they don't repent?
is not the one to be asking. I think that can lead to a reductionistic approach to this issue.
I want to ask whether it is even possible for forgiveness to exist without repentance.
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